THE DUCKTAILS CONSPIRACY
Why can't I get that theme song out of my head?
Am I the only one who’s noticed how much this sounds like “You Make My Dreams” by Hall and Oats
I've learned something incredible. It's something that could change the way we see our world. One day, I couldn't get the DuckTails theme song out of my head. The song kept repeating, and I didn't understand why. This was fun at first but the more it repeated, the more ominous it became. There was a line in the theme that echoed in my mind. I had to know more.
The song begins with these two lines.
Life is like a hurricane here in Duckburg.
Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes it's a, duck blur.
These lines set up the DuckTails show. However, the very next line hides something interesting. That line is:
Might solve a mystery, or rewrite history!
That's more than just a fun line from a fun song. That line is a clue!
If you look closely at the show, you can see it. DuckTails is about anthropomorphic ducks centered on long-time Disney character, Uncle Scrooge, the richest duck in the world. Uncle Scrooge is so rich that his favorite thing is swimming in a bin he made to hold all his money and treasure. It is never explained why he can do it, and everyone else ends up with a bruised face when they try. Uncle Scrooge's life gets turned upside down when his nephews Huey, Dewey, and Louie come to live with him instead of staying with their Uncle Donald Duck.
If you've ever watched any episodes of DuckTails, when exactly do they "rewrite history?" There are many treasures to seek in the Ducktails world, but the only time history would be rewritten is if you had a time machine... And they do! They call it the Time Tub. It was created by inventor Gyro Gearloose in Episode 17, Season 1 of the 1987 version of DuckTails. They have used this time machine multiple times in the 1987 and 2017 versions of the DuckTails, but how this connects to our world is courtesy of "King" Louie L'amour from Tailspin!
Okay... so?
Tailspin and DuckTails happen in the same universe. In the first episode of the 2017 series, Dewey tries to hotwire Donald Duck's houseboat for a trip to Cape Suzette. Do you know who's in Cape Suzette? Baloo, Rebecca, Kit Cloudkicker, and of course, Louie.
Stealing a boat like a nephew is supposed to.
Gyro Gearloose is a genius, but he's also a bit of a mess. He invents things but doesn't always keep track of what he's inventing. Gyro is a prime example of being too smart for his own good. So one day, while Gyro was fixing the Gizmoduck suit, Louie snuck into Gyro's workshop and took the Time Tub. Louie thinks he can go back in time and grab some treasure before anyone else knows about it. Once he's inside the device, he realizes he has little idea how to make it work. Louie is trying to go by the instructions, but once he hears Gizmoduck come online, Louie starts moving dials and pressing buttons and activates the Time Tub!
Louie falls so far through time. His trip is much longer than he expected. He tumbles beyond the 20's, beyond ancient Egypt, and beyond all known memory. The Time Tub runs out of power leaving Louie stuck over 1 million years in the past. He's all alone. The world is just him and a slew of de-evolved animals. Ducks are the ducks we know and it's the same for dogs and apes.
After days of trying to fix the Time Tub, Louie gives up on it. He cries and cries while eating bananas he found. He takes off his Hawaiian shirt, hat, and lai then places them inside the Time Tub and buries them in an abandoned cave. After weeks of being in this bountiful paradise, Louie finds other apes. He decides he wants to be like them and retreats to the Jungle to live out the rest of his days as the smartest ape any locals have ever seen.
Trapped in a world where “King” means the King of Everything
Wow, Crazy... What Happens Next
"King" Louie L'amour is making history. Due to his accidental time traveling, and his future animal mind, Louie has used the butterfly effect to change history as he and the Ducktales crew knew it. Every decision he makes puts Louie and his ape clan far ahead of where they would be. His trip to the past has changed the world. Louie takes many wives in his new life. We can let the theory of evolution tell us the rest.
Wait, What!?
The DuckTails Conspiracy is King Louie stealing Gyro Gearloose's Time Tub, making a quick getaway that takes him to the far past, and letting apes evolve faster than ducks or dogs. King Louie made their world, our world. Can't you see?! There is no more Scrooge, Donald, Beagle Boys, or Ms. Beakleys. They've all become dreams in a world that no longer exists.
We are who we are right now because of the shenanigans of a character from The Jungle Book. King Louie is the missing link. There is a piece of Louie L'mour in every single one of us. So let's give the King a toast.
