My Life Under Great Leader Donald Trump

All hail the Great Leader!

The world’s new president.

I wake up at 4:30 in the morning like I always do. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed every single day. It didn't used to feel like this, but we have a new president in the United States. He's not "new," as this man was president back in 2016. Despite being a lying narcissist and terrible person, Donald Trump was re-elected in 2024 as well.

The first thing he asked of the American people was that we call him Great Leader Donald Trump. His pawns in the military would ensure that this became the new reality.

In his first 100 Days as President, Great Leader Donald Trump pulled back many rights we thought were protected. There are no more abortions even for women who need them to save their own lives or women who were sexually assaulted badly enough to become pregnant. There are no more civil rights offices or federal assistance programs. Great Leader Donald Trump even came for the social security and SSI programs I've been living with since January of 2024.

I've been considered disabled since contracting brain cancer in 2022 while in Estonia. I fought for my life in a country next to Russia. Thanks to my wife at the time, I was able to find help through their government and ultimately spent 20,000 on care I did not need to pay for until I came back home in October of 2023. From there, It took a series of calls, pleading, and a full year of waiting to be accepted into this SSI program where I'd be given $600 a month to help get by in life. It was a benefit I never expected from the American government, but I graciously accepted it once it was offered.

Great Leader Donald Trump said this was unnecessary, meaning I had to go out and find a job that would accept someone that has seizures they don't understand as I do. It's a good thing I have experience with making smoothies and coffee drinks. All I had to do was pay the 30% higher cost of Lyft rides to get to work and back. Middle-class people like me and my family just don't have as much money as we used to. It seems like nobody else does either. Maybe that's why I feel so stressed all the time.

I make my way to my smoothie creation job, paying $30 for what used to be a $12 ride, and think to myself, "This is what the people wanted. They were desperate for someone like Great Leader Donald Trump to take over." Just before I get to work, we pass by a few white kids bullying a Palestinian kid. My driver and I don't do or say anything. It's every person for themselves these days.

Since all the immigrants got deported on day one just as Great Leader said, it was easy to find a smoothie creation job. The problem was that I had to take it for the old minimum wage of $5.15 an hour and work about 12 hours a day instead of eight or four. I guess that's just how life is now.

I spend all day making fancy drinks for white people. I'm glad I didn't have any seizures today. I have to watch out for things like that now that Medicaid has been dissolved. The medicine I paid nothing to get has been jacked up to $100 a bottle and I need two. So to (hopefully) avoid more seizures, I have to spend $200 bucks! That seemed unfair, but Great Leader Donald Trump said I needed to "pull myself up by my bootstraps" and that "he never had cancer so why should anyone else pay for it." I guess Great Leader is right.

When I finally get home after my 12-hour shift, I'd like to take a nap, but with all the legal and illegal expats deported, there is yard work that needs to get done. We've split it up amongst my family and I need to chop hedges before I take that nap. I do my chopping and try to get to sleep. These days, I wake up before the sun comes up, work all day making fancy drinks for other people, and then go back to sleep after the sun has gone down. As Great Leader demanded, I work from "can see to can't see" just like my ancestors did. I guess that is what people like me deserve.

I used to be a more positive person, but now I don't have to worry about that. I can put all my worries and fears into Great Leader Donald Trump's tiny hands and hope things will get better one day. I remember being so upset when he was re-elected, but I was fortunate to film an event at a plantation in the days after which helped me put everything in perspective. My ancestors had to deal with chattel slavery, but they made their way out after only 400 years. I need to be more like them.

It doesn't matter that brain cancer has set my life clock to 5 years. It doesn't matter that I never planned to be a slave and work all day. It doesn't even matter that change won't come until long after I'm gone. I stayed in the United States to make a difference. I can see that difference as I feel the blessings from Great Leader Donald Trump. I never thought it felt so good to make no decisions about anything.

Great Leader has excellent jowls.

So I would like to thank the ex-president turned re-elected president, turned Great Leader for making my life so much easier by depriving me of all the things I didn't need. I know where I have to be every day and as long as I get there, things will be ok. Over the last year, I've come to love Great Leader and put all of my faith in him. To that I say, the new Pledge of Allegiance.

I pledge allegiance to Donald Trump and to the republic, for which the Great Leader is. And to Trump for which it stands, One Nation. Under Trump. With Liberty and Justice for Great Leader and the elites of our society.

Amen.

That's right, the Pledge of Allegiance has also replaced the nightly prayers we were taught to say as children. Great Leader Donald Trump is our God now. Please don't take Great Leader's name in vain or the thought police will find you and put you in a box. With that, I bid you all good night as I go to sleep and do the same thing tomorrow.