A Review of My Old Ass - I Also Wonder What Old Asses Feel Like
Remember when Aubrey Plaza was in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World? That was 2010.
I caught My Old Ass on Thursday night. To describe it to people, I referred to it as "Aubrey Plaza's new movie." After going to see it, I know that isn't really the case. This is young Aubrey Plaza's movie a.k.a. the actress Maisy Stella known in the movie as Elliot. Aubrey is in about two scenes, but each one comes with a lot of punch.
My Old Ass breaks down like this. In this idyllic Canadian world of boat driving and cranberry farmers lives Elliot. On Elliot's 18th birthday, rather than go home and be with her family and the cake her little brother spent 4 hours decorating, Elliot goes camping in the woods to do drugs with her friends Ruthie (Maddie Ziegler) and Ro (Kerrice Brooks). They get some mushrooms, make a hallucinogenic tea, and suck it down with the quickness to take themselves to new levels of understanding/get really high. Elliot is going to be leaving for college soon, so no one has any other choice. This is the wild thing you do before your girl leaves (woo!). Unfortunately for Elliot, drugs hit her differently, so while Ro is dancing and Ruthie is falling off logs, Elliot meets her future self.
That's where Aubrey Plaza as “old ass Elliot” comes in.
Aubrey doesn't want to mess up the future on some butterfly effect nonsense but decides to give Elliot a little advice once she proves who she is with a showcase of matching scars. Aubrey tells Elliot to be nice to Mom, spend time with your brothers, and stay away from a guy named Chad. Elliot thinks this will be easy because she's with her dream girl anyway. Elliot is queer, so the idea of some dude getting in her way is asinine. Once that sweet high sleepiness takes over Elliot’s body, Aubrey Plaza leaves her phone number in Elliot’s phone and neither of them can believe it when it lets them keep talking after the mushrooms wear off.
So... There's no time machine or anything?
My Old Ass tries to answer the question, "What would your current self say to your past self." Somehow due to being terrible with drugs, future Elliot gets to meet current Elliot and tell her things. I don't know about you, but I've never been high enough for that to happen. I know some people who might have been, but maybe they got Aubrey’s advice to tell no one about their interesting relationship.
Sadly, when Elliot asks to touch Aubrey Plaza's old ass, Aubrey refuses and they never get around to doing that in this movie. This movie was written and directed by Megan Park (who you might know if you're Canadian) and features Elliot getting hot with her lady crush, Chelsea (Alexandria Rivera), and trying to stop herself from falling for the aforementioned Chad. This is a lot for an 18-year-old on her way out of town to do. Mostly My Old Ass is about saying goodbye. Goodbye to your old friends. Goodbye to your hometown. Goodbye to your whole family which includes selling the farm that’s been in the family for generations. That is the advice Elliot takes, the advice to be a better person to the people she’s grown up with.
Stop being an A-hole Elliot. You too Elliot.
She spends time with her mother, and argues with her older brother until they become friends on a golf course. Elliot lets her younger brother take over her room and put up an epic collage of Saoirse Ronan (from Little Women) above the bed. Elliot wants to make peace with the most important people in her life. Will she be able to protect herself from Chad who's working on her family farm this summer?
Should I go see My Old Ass?
Absolutely!
Especially if you're into beautiful vistas, life in a town with 300 people, or want to get an answer to the question of what you'd say to your younger self. I saw a lot of myself in this movie. I wasn't a lesbian with an attitude like Elliot (I did date a couple 😬), but I've often thought about what I would tell my younger self. It likely wouldn't be much different from what Aubrey Plaza said to hers in My Old Ass.
Give love to the people who have loved you most.
Offer trust to those who deserve it.
You're going to fall in love, and when that happens, make it last.
Everything else is odds and ends. It's not necessary to be important because that is not where happiness truly lies (ask Diddy). Like many, I believe that happiness is in accepting who you are. Sometimes it feels good to make other people happy. Sometimes you need to acknowledge self-care and what that means for you. Ultimately, it's your life and your choices matter for you and no one else.
Finally... if you do get a chance to meet your younger self by time travel or drug use, kiss yourself and feel your own ass. It'll be weird, but it will be worth it. If you can find My Old Ass, check out this cute, sometimes sad, but truly inspiring film.
