Back In Action - A Review About Spies Who Don't Act Their Age
Once upon a time, there was a duo of CIA spies who went on the lamb for 15 years. Back In Action is a story of how this happened.
Hotties
Two spies, Jamie Foxx and Cameron Diaz, worked together in the name of espionage.
On a VIM (Very Important Mission) they're shooting off jokes with their handler (the person that sends spies on VIMs) and with each other.
Like 100% of people doing important work for their countries, Cameron and Jamie are sleeping together. It's very similar to how James Bond gets down with his "Bond Girls." Only this time, unlike most James Bonds, Cameron Diaz tells Jamie Foxx that she’s pregnant.
On this mission these spies must obtain a device that could end all life on the planet with computers it falls into the wrong hands (EALOTPIIFITWH).
During their attempt, Jamie and Cameron find out they've been betrayed! Like almost every other spy movie other than Spy Kids which I have not seen. Yes, I heard those movies were good and maybe they did get betrayed.
After flipping around, beating up bad guys, and accidentally shooting the pilot, the plane they're on crashes. This being Jamie and Cameron's movie they're the only ones that survive.
They only have an idea of who betrayed them, but since they aren't sure, they decide to let the plane crash cover up their old lives as they replace it with new ones. They take the EALOTPIIFITWH device with them.
15 YEARS LATER
Jamie and Cameron have not just their “crashed airplane” daughter, but also her biracial little brother. They've gone from world-traveling spies to suburban parents whose older kid hates them.
Suddenly, their handler shows up at their house saying that if he finds them, the bad guys can too! Then he gets shot at their front door as they're descended upon by those bad guys all wearing helmets!
Can you guess what happens next?
Of course, you can!
Adult hotties…
Back In Action doesn't exist to be complicated. It exists for parents to let their kids watch something to feel older while they're doing their taxes. It's not that this film isn't fun... it's more like a movie you'd love at 8 and not understand why you did at 38. Tastes change sometimes.
The funniest thing about this film to me was that over the 15 exceedingly long years since Jamie and Cameron left their CIA spy life behind, they kicked bad guy ass the same way they always did during the plane crash. It’s like they’ve been doing daily training every day. No one, not even the handler, looks any older than they did at the beginning of the movie. I find this to be terribly funny.
So this movie isn't bad as much as it's not... mature. It's a spy film with beautiful spies. Regular spies look like people trying to fit in wherever they go. Back In Action is James Bond with a foot off the gas pedal. Good for kids, boring for adults, and unwatchable for movie critics other than me. Put Back In Action on for your family when they come over and annoy you.
